Insecure Writer’s Support Group: Rise of the Inner Hater

Without even meaning to do so, today I joined The Insecure Writer’s Support Group. Creative types can inherently be a doubtful bunch but I think that very ingenuity makes us especially skilled at hiding it.

When a large part of life is spent inventing entire worlds it becomes very easy to convince yourself of anything. That anything could be positive or negative:

Don’t tell me I’m not the bomb.com! Shakespeare who?

-OR-

This is the most inane story on earth. Why do I even bother?

What’s missing from those statements? Balance, for one. And sanity. It’s folly to compare yourself to anyone and it’s equally ridiculous to completely abandon something that brings you so much joy simply because your name isn’t in lights.

But that’s where I found myself today. It started with a misunderstood comment and spiraled down into something dark and distressing. It freaked me out because I don’t have days like this. Fear normally fuels my determination but for some reason, I’m having trouble shaking this off.

I know it will pass but I have to sit with this for a little while. I’ll indulge in music therapy and turn to the one thing that always makes it better.

I’ll write.

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20 thoughts on “Insecure Writer’s Support Group: Rise of the Inner Hater”

  1. I’m up and down all the time – but I manage to always talk myself up. Things always look better in the morning. Just come up with a plan and tackle it/sort it/confront it. Did the music therapy work? Hang in there:)

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  2. It’s like the old saying goes—you can be your own worst critic! I sadly can relate. I find it hard to turn off my critical brain when I write.

    Sometimes you have to walk away from it for a few days and tackle it again with a clearer head.

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    1. That’s exactly what I was doing. What was said really wasn’t intended in the way I heard it but it kicked up all sorts of stuff. I’m already feeling better about it today.

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  3. I like that — rise of the inner hater. It makes sense I suppose. Writing forces us to spend a lot of time with only our brains for company. We get annoyed at ourselves like we get annoyed at our kids and our spouses. But instead of complaining to ourselves about the crap on the floor and the dishes, we rant about dangling participles and cliche metaphors. We’re writers; hating ourselves is an occupational hazard.

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    1. That definitely seems the case. I’m taking hope in the fact that the thing that sometimes causes a downward spiral is ultimately the thing that brings me out of it. Strange but true!

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  4. “It started with a misunderstood comment and spiraled down into something dark and distressing.”

    Story of MY LIFE. Here’s how it goes for me: misunderstanding–>my stuff sucks–>look at so n’ so’s good news–>this will never happen for me–>why try doing ANYTHING.

    Boom. In a matter of minutes or sometimes hours, I go from misunderstanding all the way down to Pity Party, Table for 1. I hope some time writing helped pull you back!

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  5. Perfect timing. I just got my first editorial letter and I’m figuring out how to tackle it. At first, I was feeling good. I could understand all the changes requested and even envision ways to make them. But even though I feel confident I can pull it off, I’m starting to get overwhelmed since I have a lot going on this month. I’m hoping I won’t be pulling my hair out by the end of the month. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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